Archive for November, 2009

Technology Is Stupid!

Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2009 by dissectingthefetalpig

PhotobucketWalking is for cavemen, silly boy.  Now gangway!

Ever see the movie Idiocracy?  It really isn’t as funny as it is made out to be.  But it is however slightly alarming in the sense that the future it predicts is not that far off the mark.  Here’s the plot synopsis from IMDB:

Joe Bauers, an Army librarian, is judged to be absolutely average in every regard, has no relatives, has no future, so he’s chosen to be one of the two test subjects in a top-secret hibernation program. He and hooker Rita were to awaken in one year, but things go wrong and they wake up instead in 2505. By this time, stupid people have outbred intelligent people; the world is (barely) run by morons–and Joe and Rita are the smartest people in America

The future in this movie is also a land of people who love fart jokes, fast food and grunt as a form of communication, by the way.  Which brings me to the point.

Technology is making people stupid.

Technology is like a nanny that never blinks.  We can do everything from our computers these days.  Order food, watch entertaining programs, play games, talk to other people and even find our true match according to these dickbags.  Fuck, you can even get a one night stand via internet porn and if you fuck around on the wrong site you can catch a computer STD too.  But the internet is always there to comfort your every need.

We’ve dumbed down our speech to make way for internet lingo.  When I hear people say “OMG” or “WTF” outside of the internet I want to fucking punch them in the neck, take their wallet and phone to find out where their family lives and hit them for breeding a stupid child.

While never a fan of popular culture, I have to say that this song sums up what technology has done to make people fucking stupid.
I mean really, this is a hit song?  I had originally posted the version with the lyrics to make it that much more shocking.  However, that has been taken down due to copyright violations.  But you can make out the words easy enough.

The fact of the matter is society is on a steady decline and technology is there pushing it over the edge.  No one reads a book anymore, they get audio books.  No one goes to the record store, they download it.  Why people bother buying clothes on line is beyond me because half the time they stay home.

While the internet was set up as some sort of information highway, like any other highway it is full of litter and debris.  It’s really hard to try and find what is and isn’t disinformation.  Or rather there are sites you can go to, but they are bland and unentertaining and skipped by the majority of the people out there.  In other words, they are criminally overlooked.  People would rather get  a tweet or something that sums up an event in 16 words or less.  How the fuck do you even sum up something in 16 words.  Here is what the Nuremberg Trials would look like on a tweet or RSS feed:

“Nuremburg Trails: Nazis declared bad.  Sentanced to life in Spandau.”

Sure, it sums it up, but there is a whole lot lost in translation.  Sadly, not many people click to read the rest of the article.  They just get the synopsis and go about their way. It’s breeding a trend of laziness.  It’s bad enough that people wear pajama bottoms out nowadays.  You have to be a real slacker to no put your pants on.  I mean it’s one thing to check your mail in your PJ’s, it’s another to go to the mall in them.  I feel the same way about wearing track pants too.  Unless you are a Euro Football Hooligan or on your way to a strip club and doing the vinyl track pants & lap dance trick, you should take the time and put some clothes on.  Simple as that.

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Look at this slacker.

Our dependence on technology is way out of hand.  Our phones have to have a multitude of functions other than ring and dial out.  Again, this is all built out of convenience.  People are addicted to convenience.  The irony in this is that we huddle inside where our world is safe and then go on social networks.  What is so bad about going out and meeting people?  Have we become so socially awkward that we have to have some sort of vicarious life on the web?

I highly endorse putting your computers down and going out and grabbing a beer, meet strangers, getting mugged anything other than depending on the internet for more than week.  Not many people can do that these days.

Observations & Warning Signs

Posted in Rants on November 9, 2009 by dissectingthefetalpig

When you are young and single, you are prone to just about chuck your penis into any hole that will allow it. Some of these encounters will lead into relationships and from those relationships can lead into a lifetime of horror. Over the years I noticed that there were certain warning signs that had I paid attention prior, train wrecks could have been avoided. While some are more deep rooted, like Daddy Issues, and not as easy to spot at first. There are others that are plain as day to see.

Keep in mind crazy chicks know how to work a cock over. So it’s all fun and games to a point. I just don’t see the reason for sticking around and seeing if I can tame a bag of rattlesnakes anymore.

So here are my surefire warning signs on how to spot a crazy chick:

Tattoos Of Venomous Animals: Sounds silly and all that, but why exactly would a sane person, let alone a sane woman get a scorpion on them? It’s like saying I am poisonous and will fuck you up. And to be fair and flip it, if I were a woman and saw a guy with a scorpion tattoo, I’d think he was going to give me an STD. And before some pulls the “It’s my astrological sign shit.” Scorpios are pretty fucked up too. You can also add poisonous snakes and spiders into this category as well.

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Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

PhotobucketShe takes apples from strangers, just like Eve.

Tattoos Of Animals That Devour Their Mates: Now this should be a given. It speaks volumes. I have dated women that have had Black Widows and Preying Mantis tattoos and while they were all nice people in some way shape or form, those tattoos spoke volumes. It really did. Black Widows are like the double whammy. Not only do they eat their mate, but they are venomous too. Sometimes your subconscious can really seep out of you. In these cases, they took over and drove you to a tattoo parlor an compelled you to pay homage to them.

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“Step into my parlor” said the spider to the fly

Carnivorous Plants: Tattooed on them or in their homes, there is something off about women who are into these things. Just the concept of a meat eating plant is wrong. See Omnivores and Carnivores can opt into eating vegetation. It’s how the food chain works. When nature starts throwing curve balls like this, it is a mindfuck. Try picturing a daffodil eating a cheese burger. Seems a little off, right? So are the women that love these plants.

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Probably gives a great handjob?

That Lip Piercing That Acts Like A Beauty Mark, AKA The Monroe: It may as well say “I’m vain and shallow, and I think my pussy is the shit!” It looks like a metal booger or the outcome of loosing a fight with a Bedazzle Gun. You may as well have a big neon sign above your head that says “Selfish Twat”. On a side note, most girls that boast their pussy is the shit suck in the sack. Matter of fact most people who boast about anything usually suck at said thing.

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She never pays for her drugs, EVER!

And while I know that there are a small percentage of women with these warning signs that are perfectly fine. They are in the 2 percentile range. 98% of the women that have these marks are to be handled with caution. Be even more cautious if they go by names like “Madison”or “Lexi”. While this may be great stripper material, it’s not meant for the long haul. The best part of all of this is at one point I dated a woman that had the majority of these warning flares for a number of years. It drove me to drink all the time. After we broke up I swore off any sort of drink that was named after a handgun, mythical animal or mode of transportation. Like Colt .45, Midnight Dragon and Night Train.

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