Archive for August, 2009

Where Do You Draw The Line? A Bit On Personal Grooming.

Posted in Deep Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 27, 2009 by dissectingthefetalpig

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In the new millennium, shaving your balls won’t get you lumped as a bender as easily as it used to.  I think the term for this now is “Manscaping”.  Honestly, I’d take being called a queer easier than trying to apply this term to my personal grooming habits.

Now it is safe to say that pretty much every man at one point has probably shaved his gear.  You either do it out of curiosity, because your girlfriend or wife kept pulling pubes out of her teeth and you got tired of them sticking your stray pubes to the wall on the side of your bed to the point that people thought you had a mini throw rug hanging in your room.  Whatever the reasons, it probably happened just once that you’ll admit to.

So here lies the big question, where do you stop?  See if you just stop at the balls, you have this hairy taint lingering.  Which can induce some serious laughter and disgust from your lover when next they try to go down on you.  So do you shave that too?  Or shit, what about the fact that you’ve got a hairy belly and thighs and this one big bald spot in your neither regions now.  This can really become a complex situation once you realize what you have done.  I mean the first time I did it, I realized I had opened Pandora’s Depilatory Box upon looking in the mirror.  Subsequently my mirror shattered in a laughing fit.

So where do you draw the line?  Do you go balls out and get rid of everything, thus giving the impression that you may have alopecia, or enjoy looking like a hairless chihuahua?  I went that route once as well.  And while it felt fine, it comes with two major faults.  The first being that you are going to get some unwanted attention when you get ready to work out in the locker room of your gym and the second being that your are going to be all stubbly and itch like crazy within the next few days.  Also razor rash on your crotch is mighty unappealing and this sordid little affair that you thought was going to get you laid more has now turned into a total fail.

I don’t know if anyone else spazzes about these things like I do, but I have a feeling more people might after reading this.

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