I like to watch. It is as simple as that. If you don’t stop and look around some days, you’ll never really see the full picture. The world is filled images and little details that act like hidden gems just waiting for you to find. You can walk down any street and find something interesting or beautiful if you just took your blinders off. Don’t just look side to side or dead straight; look up under and around. Observe what is going on and you may be surprised at what you find.
One of the things I enjoyed about being a bouncer was that I had to watch and observe. You start to learn the pattern of people and it gets easier to pick out the irregularities. Irregularities in a crowd can be both good or bad. A young couple having a heavy make out session, lovers meeting for the first time, a drug exchange, the preamble to a fight or shady behavior all stick out from the overall picture of what is seen in a bar. Yet they can blend in really well at times if you don’t spot them. It’s all a game to me, like an egg hunt of sorts. Every bar or club I enter is immediately scanned for spots where things could happen, then I look to see what type of crowd surrounds me and then I look for the place best suited for me to sit and watch. Sometimes this can be seen as problematic. I would refuse to go to certain places again after seeing what a madhouse it was. I see no reason to be in a place that is dangerous beyond the point of exciting and leans more towards being a deathtrap. Friends and lovers alike used to think I was no fun for not wanting to go to bars known for having shootings in the parking lot regularly. I saw it as having an allergic reaction to lead pills.
I love going out late at night and seeing what the world has to offer me as the majority of its inhabitants slumber. It’s easier to find things, for me, at night as you don’t have the sun’s glare in your eyes. Recently, I saw an older couple dancing on their balcony. A slow waltz or something similar I suppose. But it was awesome to see two old people still in love with each other like the day they first met. They too were using the veil of the night for their advantage. I didn’t want to interfere or interrupt the moment as some nosey onlooker, so off I went. It’s moments like those that make me not loathe the world as much as I do. It’s like some affirmation that good things still exist.
Even when all I see is the bums shuffling or slumbering on the street, the tricks working their corners and the junkies fixing, it’s still a glimpse into the world no one wants to admit we live in. The real world. I never saw the point of turning a blind eye to the problems. These proverbial monsters under our beds that haunt us as we sleep. It made more sense to get used to them rather than deny that it is happening. And there is a uniqueness to this atrocity exhibit that I find exhilarating. My outlook is that life is built on moments. With that said, I would rather have a life built on unique moments rather than mundane ones. I like catching rare glimpses of raw life, even when it hurts. I think it is almost damnable to live life like cattle and just shuffle along your usual route to the cubicle you call a job. You need to switch it up sometimes and just see what is out there and take notice of all the flaws the gem of life bears. These flaws, these imperfections are what make things so interesting. Anyone can walk into a jewelry store and see a perfectly cut stone, but rarely do we get to find one in the raw.